Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Going to Work, Using My Hands

The other day I asked Matt if he wouldn't mind if I "went to work" once or twice a week. I wanted at least an hour where I could go into the conservatory, sit at the table and blog without interruption - as if I weren't in the house at all. I'm not actually in the conservatory because right now it's as far as the folded laundry gets so the table is covered with piles of clothes (although Emmett's always gets carried upstairs and put away - his room stays tidiest as well) and I'm really only blogging because Emmett's napping on Matt. Still, it seemed like a good opportunity.

On Monday I started a class called My Space, My Time for mothers with post natal depression. Considering that I struggled with depression before I was pregnant, I wasn't surprised when it smacked me in the face a few months after Emmett was born. On top of it all, I'm horribly homesick - so much so that going to visit any of Matt's family really got me down. Then a little over a week ago my papaw died and it absolutely broke my heart that I couldn't be there. I'm happy with the things we said when I saw him last summer and when we last spoke on the phone but not being able to be there to say goodbye...I still cry at least once a day.

Even after one class I felt better. It's a small group that gets together over an art project and coffee, tea or hot chocolate and cakes to talk..or not talk. It's the art project part that got me interested. I really, really miss being creative. During this class we painted little boxes.


I know this photo is terrible - sorry. I wanted to take one earlier when the sun was still out but things don't work that way anymore.

I actually stuck the stickers from my sticker stash on the yellow one when I got home because I ran out of time in class. They're far from perfect but it felt to good to make something. Next week we're making little pigs out of clay - I'm really looking forward to that even though I'll be in the states when they'll be glazing them. We're also going to paint tote bags, a mug, a frame...and make a couple of other things I can't remember. Simple projects but immensely rewarding. It's a great way for me to meet other moms/mums, too. I'd run into one of them at the doctor's office and at the library so we kind of already "knew" each other but this meant we finally got to talk a bit which was nice.

For the first class Matt was at home and could stay with Little E but he'll be at work next Monday so I'll have to bring him and put him in their daycare for the hour and a half. I'm super nervous about that but they have three carers and there are only eight or nine of us in the group and we're one door down so they'll bring him in if he starts fussing. I've never left him with anyone but Matt so this will really be something for me. I'm ready to try, though.

And now for a little gratuitous Emmett. This little man is my world. No matter how bad I feel, I can always find a smile for him.

I Love Tummy Time!

He amazes me with something new every day. He's using his hands a lot more now and can hold his little head up like a champ. He lights up when either of us walks into the room which is crazy rewarding. My favorite thing he does is sing himself to sleep on my shoulder. I sang him to sleep myself many nights (singing "The Pie Song" from Waitress which we played for him in the womb in hopes that he would recognise it and I think he does) and I really think his little cooing noises are his version and a real comfort. That's when I can tell he's really tired. 

I mentioned it earlier but our latest news in that we're heading to Ohio next month! Actually we're going to New Orleans for a few days first for my brother's wedding and then driving (with a five month old!) fifteen hours to Ohio. I can't wait for Emmett to meet the rest of his American family. I also can't wait to eat at a million places and browse Target and Kohls for hours (I miss Target and Kohls more than any other stores in the US)! And knit group - I can't wait to stop by the Sunday night knit group. A million things I'd like to do - hopefully we'll have time to do at least a few of them!

For now, though, it's quitting time. Glad to be back.



  1. EEEE! I can't wait to see you (all three of you, i hope?) I think that moms group sounds great - you get to make stuff (those stickers are adorable! I just saw a giant pack of Lisa Frank stickers the other day and was like OMG! She's still making stickers!?!) and be with some other adults for a bit - sounds like a win win!

  2. i'm so glad that you are back too. i know we don't really know each other, but i feel like i know you because of the blog and we have talked a couple of times. if you ever, and i mean ever need someone to vent to, just send me an email. i check it a lot throughout the day. i have and continue to have issues with depression so i know how it can be. good luck and i hope to hear from you soon.

  3. I'm sorry to hear you've been having a rough time. I too know how overwhelming the darkness of depression can be. There maybe days when you feel you can not cope but hang on. Hang on to all the good things in your life (you deserve them) and remember that better days will come. I know that isn't always easy to do.
    I've found that having a creative outlet like you have helps. Knitting is my outlet. I've also found that walking helps too.

  4. Have fun at Target for me. :) Glad you're finding things to help. The greyness here sure doesn't help.

  5. You know I know depression, so just. . . Don't ever think you're alone.
    And look at that little boy.